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Pink is not always pretty, sometimes it can be very dark

After reading everybody’s personal stories of breast cancer this month and how they cope is very unique. But ultimately it comes down to what the person believes in positively, negatively, indifferent, spiritual or the cosmos. My breast cancer experience was not like the usual if there is anything, such as that. I didn’t trust my doctors, some of them in fact committed malpractice on my case, when I went to the support groups no one could relate to the horrendous treatment that I did receive from my doctors, whom I eventually had to turn over to the Food and Drug Administration because of their bad deeds.

I didn’t really have the support of my family members because they had all passed away from cancer all five of them in fact before I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I developed a case of survivor’s guilt, because I was the only living survivor of my family with cancer. I remember going to support groups and telling them I guess it’s my time to die next and I almost convinced myself that doing treatment was not going to work so why even try. I was grateful that somebody pulled me out of that head-space and told me that are you just going to let that cancer sit inside of you and for how long, Miss Kim. I think that was the day that I really started fighting for my life…. If I knew her name today, I would tell her that she is the one that really saved my life.

The reason that I was diagnosed initially was because I had a situation going on with botox that I receive in my neck for a movement disorder and it was incidentally found in a MRI exam. I have faithfully received a mammogram every year since my 20s and when I finally had my last mammogram it was three months before my neck MRI and there was no mention I had dense breast, no mention that I had breast cancer and no mentioned I had cancer growing in my body for 9 years. You can image the shock I was in to learn about not only the cancer, but that women with dense breast have an 50 % increase of breast cancer risk. I had no idea, that my risk was so high.

I figured the way I started out with cancer was going to be the way, I was going to go out and that was to bring as much information as I possibly could learn to the surface to tell patients/everybody that would listen to me about breast cancer. That included shaving my hair twice when I knew that somebody close to me had cancer and challenged my doctors every step of the way. Becoming a pest to them, after a while I grew on them.

Ultimately, I become homeless from the city of Napa with doctors that I had no trust in and moved to the Bay Area to eventually find my cancer team of doctors at Stanford Hospital.

Finally, the pink ribbon controversy is on the minds of survivors every Oct and where does the money go will always be in question with us folks that have lived through our own Vietnam with cancer.

Personally, I would like to see the money go to organizations that help pay for a woman that needs help with lymphedema gloves, transportation cost and financial help for hope lodges.

I meet women along my journey in Napa that needed the above needs and they were not provided to them and they had to make a choice to either have their breast/s removed or travel back and forth from a remote location without the funds to support that medical need for breast reconstruction. I believe no one should have to be put in that place ever, yet it is happening all over the county. A dirty secret that is too mind numbing to testify to the world about. So when I buy pink propaganda, I hope one day to do it in honor of these women that want to keep their breast, yet can’t afford to drive back and forth to their chemo appointments and their numerous breast reconstruction visits so they go ahead and get an mastectomy. These are the true stories that need to be told about the horrors of breast cancer and I’m glad I could finally tell a small fraction of them today.

Shiftplanning for the soul

The naked truth about humankind. People take pride in themselves and if they have a good heart that includes others.

Humanity is the key quality of the great mix of goodness and kindness on how you treat others. When you are oppressed, grieved, sickened at the sad presentation of humanity in all its evil forms. You want to step up and show mankind that peace * love * hope is still the remnants of humanity that we should never loose for others and ourselves. 

Go beyond your simple daily focus and rise to the challenges that is all around us now, you may surprise yourself on how well you can adapt to wide variety of situations, you suddenly realize you can do just about anything for yourself and humanity.

 Let your spirit soar and connect to others and inspire them with that extra touch that God has given you today and show them the gift of human kindness and tell them about how others have influenced our lives in a positive way and helped shaped your character. Once again pass along that empowerment to others and it will make you both feel good. Promise!!!

Practice what you preach and gain goals & accomplishments in areas that you never thought you could. Break the mold and truly shine!!! Remember to start the day with an attitude of gratitude and success, worry less about what you can’t change. 

Care more about what you can change and start contributing to others and focus on doing more for your family, friends and strangers. I try to leave the world better than how I found it. I do my best to instill values, ethics and a good moral compass. 

So next time, you go out in this world fill’er up with kindness and greatness because a little goes a long way.

Resist the urge to turn away, but turn in and see the beauty that you can reveal underneath the fear, scared mentality or lost soul. If you can take off your armor, you can teach them to do the same. A sweep of understanding can bring color where circumstances have stolen their glow. A colorful palette can bring hope, promise and sunshine to anyone’s day. 

Let’s all triumph today, it’s God’s timing. Ecclesiastes 3:1 ( to everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven) What is the testimony that you want to share with others about your journey of life? Let’s garden everybody’s hearts that are broken.

Disclose the facts and the rest will follow.

My experience in life is that if you tell the truth in any situation. That way, you don’t have to constantly look over our back. Everyday we have choices to make, to tell the truth or not. Some people find it hard to be honest with themselves and others, because of judgement calls. When I was growing up, one of the principles in our house was to be brutally honest all of the time. Sometimes, it would hurt people’s feelings, yet that was not our goal. I have been tested throughout my life, at times. 99 percent of times, I would tell people what I though and the 1% I didn’t have the heart to tell others the truth. Sometimes I wouldn’t cause it would be the wrong time or other situations would arise that would make it feel uncomfortable for me or them and because the emotions that it would cause to expose the truth was not worth the effort to get them to understand my truth. I just didn’t want to do it, so I wouldn’t. I’m one to believe that telling the truth feels like gaining control and on the other hand some people believe that if you tell the truth you are giving up control. Well, this week, I had my share of both actions. I was telling the truth in both instants, I just didn’t feel like I had to say everything, because if I did. I feel like I would be judged.

When people’s memories of us and of yourself are influenced by many things that can change over time and that they are essentially reconstructed each time we think about it. When I say and do something is because I genuinely believe in it and the moment and I do not normally allow my memory of the event to be overwhelmed by stress, events or desires. I truly think I’m doing it to help someone out or expose a injustice.

When I deal with people that I try to help out or show them how to be useful for themselves or others. It is very important for me to understand their goals, motivation and have empathy for the process. Being honest with them is a valuable tool to give them permission to tell the truth. Hopefully they recognize the gift of sharing their hearts in good times and bad with me. It is a powerful way to get to more truth-telling on the table. It shows people that the world will not end when you tell the truth and it just may be helpful to someone, that needs an emotional hug. To teach others to rise above it all with self dignity and respect. Is the best gift a person can give others. We don’t need people to complete us, we only need people to accept us completely where we are in life, period. Life is about the destination, not the journey. Don’t cry if you don’t get want you want just re-just the destination and you can get their quickly and efficiently with the resources you have. Not everyone wakes up happy, yet the desires that they look for that specific day, that helps them deal with life is a goal that should be honored and treasured. Each day, that person will find their way. Believe me, I’m a living examples that miracles do happen. God can do the impossible. Making miracles happen is to be clear about your miracles, expect the best outcome, release your fears, and negative thoughts, visualize yourself in a positive place in life. I always say that you can live 2 ways that nothing is a miracle or everything is a miracle. Don’t give up on yourself before the miracle can happen for you. You can be your own Namaste, Om and Zen…

Know your place….

Know your place…. You hear that when people try to shut you down, their last best hope is that you will stop exposing the truth. Actually, addressing the hard cold facts may be difficult for them to accept at face value. When we demand the answers of “Why” is this bullshit happening. When we reach this point we have already been prepared to turn the spectrum around to a 360 degree and start harnessing our God giver power back from the tragic things that can happen in this world and address some of society’s most challenging issues. This awesome new awareness is to increase our attention to push the boundaries wide open and broaden our own understanding that is uniquely deep and hard core with great significance reason that only a passionate soul can bring to the table.

It is so simple for most people to understand decent human interactions and integrity, but some people it is a foreign world. Unfortunately their doubt is clearly distorted and lacks a clear metal apparatus.

With a reasonable person, there is always new ways to extend a positive outcome and improve the practice of kindness over hate. Yet, when assaulting someone’s character that can’t speak for themselves in many areas of life and applying that some people beat the odds because they were fighters and those who didn’t were not fighters.

That is absolutely not right, hypocritical and a cowards way to bail out. At that point the aggressor needs to be taken down, quickly and swiftly

The heart of truth seekers in America is that they can tell us, show us, about who “we are” in any given uncomfortable moment in life with all the rise, fall and rebirth of our conscience that may be at stake. Our good moral code is learning about our place in society, it should not matter if you are poor, middle class or well- off. People come from varied of backgrounds, education, cultures and faiths. Treating others with respect and dignity is all anyone can hope for, in this day and age. You may call the truth seekers stubborn, prideful, causing stride and a leader in God’s truth, not someone else’s truth. Being an agent for change is what it is all about. However, when people can’t control their own energy and start to crash any event in life in a form of destructiveness behavior and deadly outcomes. That is when we all must stand up and say immediately, there is a great urgency to “wake the other side up”. When you hurt one of us, you hurt us all. Be prepare for a good dose of karma, because every- day extraordinary people will hunt you down and rubber stamp your very existence, like nobodies business. Intensively is our name, severely served up with real – time justice is our truth.

A miracle every day

Love it? Get it! A feeling that goodness, truth, and wonder is in the air. Yet we see people who live on the dark side of life with no fault of their own, just at the wrong place at the wrong time and don’t know what a miracle is. Those are the people who need it the most.  I’m here to say that miracles can happen everyday, if a person is willing to change their perception of  what a miracle is and finally they will see them all around them. Let me tell you many times for me when I wanted to quit is when the movement of a miracle happens and it kept me pushing ahead. “Don’t Give Up”  these words should be on every bumper sticker out there, it shows that we can be strong, endure trails and tribulations and still come out the way that the cosmos direct us. At the end of the day, it enforces our faith, joy and unleashes the potential of your soul. Other words, if you see it and believe it ,you can do it.

 Trust and Honoring yourself is a miracle:

  1. Creating
  2. Evaluating
  3. Analysing
  4. Applying
  5. Understanding
  6. Remembering
  7. 7.Being Grateful

 

The drum roll of life

Life, it opens the doors to difficult and interesting times. Let your good moral compass be the divine action of the day.

Reasons to carry a good moral compass:

  1. Can save your ass one day and protect you.
  2. Gives you confidence to go all the way, without a doubt.
  3. Deciding on the right thing to do.
  4. Doing a small part in life, to make others happy.
  5. Practicing a drum roll in life can make you smile, share the love of basic beliefs, or  acknowledgment of the struggles of a hard-won battle.